Why children don't listen to their parents?

Okay, let's solve the mystery. Why do children not listen to their parents? I have found 3 great ideas that are going to help you become a better parent. Let's solve a big mystery in life. Why don't children listen? right? Like, what happens? What is a communication interval? You know, how you've probably said it, where you said, "I've told you 10 times." You know, as parents how do we count how often we tell our child something? First of all, we think that parents like some magical number of times like how many times are we going to tell our kids before they finally hear it? You know, it doesn't even matter. They don't count, we count. But why is it that they are not listening? Okay, let's find 3 reasons or 3 things you can do to be able to help your children listen to you. 

Number #1 -

Okay, let's address a very important first step. Are you using the correct language? Now, I am not asking you to use more difficult, offensive language, nor am I saying that you come to their level and speak their language. You see, kids are younger than you, right? They are less developed than you. They do not think like you. And yet, we as adults talk to children as if they are adults. They are not adults. They don't think like adults, they don't process like adults, they don't talk like adults. They just don't have anything there. You are here, your child is here. There is a gap. There is really a big difference between understanding and communication and making sense of things. Your kids actually need help understanding. 

I just want you to know there's a language barrier. There's a language barrier between you and your kids. And so for us as we are talking to our kids, we need to come down to their level. And that they are really little kids, we need to come down to their level. I talked to a 17 year old boy differently than a 25 year old boy. I'm not going to talk to them the same. And when all your kids are younger, you know, they have quite a number of years between each other. So, if you are talking to your 15 year old boy, you know, your 9-year old boy and your 5-year old boy, those are three different conversations. 

If you want to be understood, this is you. You want to be understood, you need to come to the level of the person you're speaking to. You need to come to their level. Change the way you're speaking to them. And more than likely, you need to slow down in what you're saying. You think everybody else processes information as fast as you process it. And they can hear as fast as you're speaking, they don't do it the same way you do it.

Your kids actually need help understanding. I just want, you to know that there's a language barrier. There's a language barrier between you and your kids. And so for us as we are talking to our kids, we need to come down to their level. And that they are really little kids, we need to come down to their level. I talked to a 17 year old boy differently than a 25 year old boy. I'm not going to talk to them the same. And when all your kids are younger, you know, they have quite a number of years between each other. So, if you are talking to your 15 year old boy, you know, your 9-year old boy and your 5-year old boy, those are three different conversations. If you want to be understand, this is you. 

If you want to be understand, you need to come to the level of the person you're speaking to. You need to come to their level. Change the way you're speaking to them. And more than likely, you need to slow down in what you're saying. You think everybody else processes information as fast as you process it. And they can hear as fast as you're speaking, they don't do it the same way you do it. Just like going to a different country. They speak a different language, you're not going to be understand until you learn their language. The same way kids are also like people of other country. And you're coming into their country, before that you've to learn their language. Connect with them and understand how they speak and how they interpret things.

Number #2 - 

These will surely help your kids to listen to you. Is when you have something to share with your child and let's say you're giving them an explanation of how to wash the dishes, you show and tell them how the dishes are to be washed. Not just tell. This is where we as parents get a little messed up. We think we can just tell people what to do. And even other people. We show and tell and then we ask them to show us what we just showed them. We show, tell and show. And that completes the process. Because if you take your son over to the sink and you say, "Okay, I want you to wash these dishes." Well, when you come back, you know, like 10 minutes later and he's using cold water to wash the dishes, using no soak. And he's also using a well used wash cloth. And he's just rinsing them off with cold water and sticking them on the counter with no towel to drip on, we now know that the family is probably going to get sick from some kind of stuff left on the cups and dishes, right? But all you said was wash the dishes. But if you go over and show him and you explained how it works and you get it all started. But then you stop back off from it. 

Maybe even drain the water out that you just used and you said, "Okay now. You show me what I just taught you." And now, you can find out what he heard and what he missed. This piece right here. That piece right there. You have your child then start to do the activity. Either cleaning the room or cleaning up the bathroom or washing the dishes or putting their clothes away. You show them how to do it, tell them how to do it. And then they get to demonstrate that they were listening to you. And right there, they right in front of you will show how well they listened. And if they missed something, then you can go and correct the part that they missed. But a parent who gives information to their kids and then walks away thinking that they got it, because the kids still stand-in there staring at them. Kids don't listen. We have to help them listen. And then help them take that X action so we can see how well they learned. This will be more helpful. Show, tell and show. 

Number #3 -

Okay, the next one is this. Explain to your children why. Why do we wash dishes with warm water? Why do we fold our clothes? Why do we pick up our dirty clothes off the floor and put them in the hamper? Why does your backpack go on the hanger and not in the middle of the kitchen floor? Now, you most likely are going to have to repeat that information most of their life. And when I see parents who get all frustrated and put out because they have to repeat themselves, I wonder if they forgot what parenting is. When your child lives with you, be a great teacher. Or I'll tell you exactly what's going to happen. If you get all upset and you think your children are supposed to be perfect and do everything right because they're supposed to hear you the first time and do it all right, you know what's going to happen when they get old enough? When they get old enough to move out, they're not going to want to talk to you. Because you're not a good teacher. They're going to consider you someone who is a nag(annoy or irritate a person with persistent fault-finding). They're going to consider you as somebody who's critical. And so we are parents and that makes us instant teachers. And as a child's growing up and we learn their language and we show tell and show. And they show us after we show and tell. And we explain why, some kids it settles in and it makes sense to them. Some kids it takes longer. All kids are not same some develop at different stages. They're all in development stages. And kids are not fully developed by they're 12 years old. Kids are not fully developed when they're 17 years old. That's why they're called teenagers. They're still kids. You know even 21-25 year-olds are still learning. And so I really believe as parents, we need to really be very conscious here that we are teachers for their whole entire life. And we repeat what we taught them. We keep showing them. Let assume you have two sons right now who are married. And when they come over to the house and you all are having dinner together and you said, "Hey, will you wash the dishes?" I'm still going to go over and come, "Okay, remember you use warm water. Here's the soap." And they kind of look at like,"Dad, you taught me all my life." But it sure makes the experience better because you're still in the place of being a teacher. 

Must see this post: 19 qualities to be a good parent in life

Conclusion 

Now, if you're a parent and you're disagreeing with me right now, you're thinking, "No. Kids need to figure this out and they need to learn this so I don't have to repeat myself ever again."Okay. Wait till your kids grow up. And then you see what happens. I've seen a lot of people and I hear what parents wrestle with as their kids get older. And they don't have a good relationship with their kids. You are developing a relationship with your children. And you're developing a relationship that you are a great teacher. And so for the rest of their lives, if you be a good teacher, then what happens is that they will come to you for advice. So, come talk with them, what's going on in their life. They'll share. They'll stay connected to you. But I have seen many parents who struggle in their relationship with their kids and then they find out it's because they had expectations that their kids were supposed to learn it one time. 

We're parents. And we teach our kids. So, explain to them why it's important of what you're teaching them. Have them show you, after you did the show-and-tell. And find their language. Find how they talk and how they think. Each child is different. Each child is unique. And parenting is a beautiful experience. Someday your kids grow up and they leave. And you hope always that your kids will come back and stay connected with you. That's what it's all about. It's all about being connected and having a great relationship. I know, being a parent is the crazy experience, right? I just want you know we're here to support you in your life getting better.

Thanks for reading.